VeryMoodyRyter Talk Show Transcript
by riterandreader
Summary: VeryMoodyRyter: Hello, and welcome to the VeryMoodyRyter Talk Show. Today’s topic is, “Mediator: What Does it All Mean?” We're here to talk about the group of people who make the acclaimed story, The Medator. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

A/N -This is just something I thought of for the heck of it, inspired by our ramblings here at the MCBC and Mediator boards. I hope you like it, and tell me what you think.

VeryMoodyRyter: Hello, and welcome to the VeryMoodyRyter Talk Show. Today's topic is, "Mediator: What Does it All _Mean_?" We're here to talk about the group of people who make the acclaimed story, "The Mediator." First off, we have Jesse de Silva coming to talk to us.

Crowd: cheers

VMR: Now, Jesse de Silva has been a long-time ghost, who fell in love with his roommate – yes, his _female_ roommate, Susannah Simon.

Crowd gives a scandalous, "Oooooohh"

VMR: Well, Jesse and Suze have seemed to finally work things out, with a little bit of complications from their friend, Paul Slater. So let's introduce our man, Jesse. 

Crowd applauds.

VMR: Hello Jesse, nice to have you on the show.

Jesse: Thank you, it's nice to be here.

VMR: Ah, ever the gentlemen. Ladies, let's give it up for the Latin Heart-Throb in Leather, Jesse.

Crowd: cheers

VMR: So Jesse, tells us about your relationship with Suze.

Jesse: Well, it's very simple: I love her.

Crowd: Awww!

VMR: How sweet. Most people seem to think you a real romantic. And we've heard that this has your increased your popularity with the members of a certain Message Board who are here in the audience today. 

Jesse (with a sigh, runs his fingers through his hair): Yeah, it's _muy_ difficult.

VMR: How so?

Jesse (frustrated): Well, for one thing, they keep imagining me in pink tutus.

Crowd (like a fight will break out): Oooooohhh 

Jesse: Yes, and I for one am not a ! !#$#!

VMR: Whoa, whoa! Calm down cowboy!

Jesse (turns red with fury): I am not a $# cowboy!

VMR: Er, um… let's bring out our next guest, Paul Slater.

Jesse: Not that $ Paul Slater! And another thing: those Meg Cabot fans keep thinking I'm homosexual, and in love with him! Just because I wear leather DOES NOT MAKE ME GAY!

Paul (to Jesse) : Hey, lover-boy.

Jesse (angrily) : Paul, it's all your fault! You see what this does to my reputation!

Paul (seductively) : Well, what about _last night_...?

Crowd: Ooooooohhh!

Jesse (frustrated even more) : Nothing HAPPENED!

VMR: I see, Jesse. So are you acknowledging your true feelings, or is this denial?

Jesse: IT'S ALL A LIE!

VMR: Lie or not, I think you're having some true confrontation issues. Tell me about your relationship with your sisters.

Jesse: what the h does this have to do with them!

VMR: I see you are trying to repress your feelings, don't repress. Let it all out.

Paul (blows his nose, crying in peals of sobs) : He... he's just like this all the time, Ryter. I want to talk to him about it, but no. It's all about "Jesse, Jesse, Jesse." (angrily to Jesse) What about ME, Jesse? What about MY needs? I'm sorry, I - (breaks down and cries more).

VMR (pats Paul on the shoulders) : There there, let it all out.

Jesse: (huge groan)

VMR: And how does this make you feel, Paul?

Paul: Tell you the truth - it makes me feel ho-ri-ble (sobs more). I - I'm starting to think that he doesn't _like _me any more!

Jesse: Of course I don't like you! You treated me like dirt.

Audience: Oohhhh...

VMR: I see...

Paul: Oh, see? The truth comes out. It ALL comes out! You never cared about me!

VMR: Now wait a minute: Jesse, what made you feel like that?

Jesse: Simple: he tried to take to the "Great Beyond." Away from Susannah!

Paul: Because I was _jealous_, okay? I figured, if I separated you two, you would pay more attention to _me_!

Jesse (rolls his eyes): Oh, give me a break, Slater.

VMR: We'll be right back after these messages, where we'll bring in Suze Simon, stay tuned.

To be continued


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: "Paul – gay!" you ask? Well, how do you know this all isn't a devious plan by Paul to make Jesse look bad? Hum?  
taps fingers evily like Mr. Burns

VMR: Hello, and we are back to the Very Moody Ryter Talk Show. Today we are talking about the Mediator and the "complex" relationships between characters. We are about to bring in our next guest, Ms. Suze Simon. Now, Ms. Simon is a junior at a local Carmel high school, and she has been in love with Jesse _all_ this time. Let's bring her out and see what she thinks of all of this, and Jesse's relationship with Paul.

Crowd: claps

Jesse (outraged): I AM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH PAUL!

VMR: Hello, Suze, welcome to our show.

Suze (with a flip of her hair): It's nice to be here, Ryter. (to Jesse) Hey, baby.

Paul (still with tears in his eyes): You see! You see what I mean!

VMR: Hold on for just one second Paul. Now, Suze, how does it feel like to be a teen and in love with a ghost?

Suze: Well, I think it feels pretty good. I mean, sure he'll never let me get past first base, but whatever.

Crowd: Oooooohh.

VMR: Ooh, I see. But aren't you a little… young to be worrying about that kind of thing? I mean, you're only 16.

Paul (raises his hand): I'll do it with her!

Crowd (even more): "Oooooh!"

Jesse: I TOLD YOU HE WAS LYING ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP!

VMR: Well, now Paul. What's all this change of heart?

Paul (glares): Can't you see I hate his guts?

VMR: Uh… actually, you were busy making it _abundantly_ clear you were in some sort of relationship with Jesse.

Paul: You mean _you_ actually fell for it? You're the HOST! It was supposed to be for all the fans out there (gestures with his arms). They actually WANT him to hook up with Suze (disgusted).

Kelly from the crowd: I'll have you, Paul!

Paul: Get away from me, you stalker!

Suze (whirls at Paul): _You're_ the stalker, you sicko!

Kelly (furious): Don't you _dare_ insult my Paulie! (runs at Suze, and they start tearing out each other's hair. The big, buff bodyguards come and separate them).

VMR: Whoa, clam down. Alright, so I see that Paul has been lying to you in your relationship, Jesse.

Jesse: I TOLD you, I am not in a RELATIONSHIP with Paul!

Suze: What? You were in a relationship with Paul? (stands up, angrily) Since when? How DARE you!

Jesse: Augh! I said I _wasn't_!

Suze: This is UNBELIEVEABLE!

Paul: See, baby. He doesn't love you. I'll take you. After all, who can compete with abs like these? (starts taking of his shirt).

Audience woops; some fat lady in the front faints, and has to be taken away.

Kelly (starts running at Paul like a groupie, and hugging him from the waist): I love you so much! Take me now, Paul! Take me now! (a bodyguard has to pry Kelly's fingers from Paul).

VMR: I think it's time for a commercial break, and we'll show our final segment of "Mediator". Hey! (takes microphone back from an out of control groupie) I still need that! (smiles to the TV) We'll be right back.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N - Here's the final segment - it really isn't as funny as the other 2, but it serves as a sort of conclusion.

VMR (fixes hair, that is rumpled, and her hair is coming out of her classy hair twist; the chaos that was ensuing before the commercial break of all the groupies going out of control because of Paul's abs seems to have quieted down): Are we on? Okay, good. Welcome back to our show. We have seen the twisted and tangled relationships and lies of the "Mediator" group, with whom we were talking about today. Let's take a look at what happened…

(clips of Paul taking off his shirt; Jesse yelling, "DOES NOT MAKE ME GAY"!; Ryter saying "Now, Jesse de Silva has been a long-time ghost, who fell in love with his roommate – yes, his _female_ roommate, Susannah Simon." Kelly hugging Paul saying, "Take me now! Take me now!")

Audience: claps politely

VMR: Any final statements from our guests?

Paul warily says: Can I have a restraining order from _her_? (He points at Kelly, who is looking at Paul, leaning towards him in her seat in front, with a dreamy look and almost drooling)

VMR (with a smile): Will do, Paul.

Jesse: I would like to say that I, for one, am not gay.

Audience gasps as though this is a big surprise.

Suze (shocked): Really? You're not? (Goes up to Jesse and starts making out with him)

Paul (disgusted): Do you mind?

Jesse (between kisses, waves dismissively): Whatever, Slater.

(Paul suddenly stands up in anger, and goes to punch Jesse; the security guards see this happening, and just as the brawl is breaking out, they separate Paul and Jesse, and take them away from the stage)

Suze (calls out, trying to see Jesse from the group of bodyguards surrounding him, taking him off stage): I'll wait for you after the show, okay babe?

Jesse (with a bloody nose calls out): Sure!

Kelly calls out to Paul: Can _I_ wait for you?

Paul: H$ no! Ryter – remember the restraining order….! (He calls out just as he's being dragged off stage)

VMR (gives a thumb's up to Paul. She turns to the camera, and viewers at home): So, it seems Jesse and Paul were never gay to begin with. Paul is still in love with Suze, and Kelly is in serious need of therapy.

An Outraged audience member stands up, and yells: We _already knew that_! Didn't we learn anything new today!

Another audience member stands up and retorts: Sure we already knew that – but didn't today make for great TV?

The whole audience woops and cheers "Yeah"

VMR: So tune in for tomorrow's episode - "Werewolves: Fact of Fantasy?" This is VeryMoodyRyter, and remember: may all your writings be… well, moody.

Audience claps and the credits start rolling, cheesy elevator-music plays in the background the TV is showing scenes from today's episode.

THE END

A/N – Reviews would be kindly appreciated.


End file.
